You have to cut the cord in college

Cutting_the_cord_graphic.jpg

    I remember the day I moved into Methodist, my freshman year. The tears, the hugging, the sentimental speeches– and that was just my parents. While I was nervous and scared, I knew that if I confessed my fears and concerns, my parents would never give me the full amount of freedom I wanted or needed in college.

    I came to college young and naïve at 17, indulging in the freedom I had living three hours away from home. However, by the second week of school, I was calling my parents every day, begging them to come see me, or bring me home.

    It was like driving on the interstate. I felt like all of my friends were in a brand new Maserati sports car; fully equipped with independence, reasoning, and college experience, moving full speed ahead while I was riding in a supercharged Corvette, but refused to drive over 10 mph. I had the potential to be with my friends, but was restricting myself because I constantly needed my parents to reassure me.

    I remember the day my parents asked if I was coming home and I said, “No.”  That was the day I cut the cord.

    My answer probably floored them. I realized that by going home every weekend, I was not living my own life. I was too dependent on them for everything. While my friends were having fun going to the movies, dancing, and hanging out—I was at home with my parents.

    I see too many students refusing to separate from their parents. If students do not learn to be independent while in college, they will forever be dependent on someone in their lives, whether it’s parents or a spouse, and that is no way to live. That is a one-way street to failure and disappointment. If students can’t support themselves and stand on their own two feet while living in college, what’s going to happen to them when the real world suddenly smacks them in the face?

    People cannot learn when they have been sheltered and protected their entire lives. If students stay under their parents’ wing throughout college, their friends will begin to seem distant, because they are not taking advantage of the full college experience. Those who are independent understand how to be successful because they know the importance of growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, away from home.  

    Students who have made it to college have the potential to do great things. Parents understand this and cutting the cord does not mean students have to forget their parents. It simply means that students have to learn to adapt to not being around their parents all of the time so that they can learn the lessons necessary to survive in the real world. It’s okay to have parent’s support to back students up, but students must learn to stand on their own two feet. Sure, if students are constantly under their parents’ wing, they don’t fall. However, if they fall and that support fails, they won’t know how to get back up.

    Life is a highway. It’s full of twists, turns, bumps and signs. Instead of letting your parents control how you drive—take risks. Let your parents know you love them, hop in your Corvette, and drive away down your path. You may pass your friends once you start living your life as an independent, goal-driven individual. Don’t waste potential by sticking to old habits of dependency. Be an adult and live your own life.

 

Comments (0)
Write comment
Your Contact Details:
Comment:
:D:angry::angry-red::evil::idea::love::x:no-comments::ooo::pirate::?::(
:sleep::););)):0
Security
Please input the anti-spam code that you can read in the image.
 
Currents:
Military spouses wait out deployments

 A life can change with a phone call, a plane ticket or a knock at the door.

For someone married to, engaged to or seriously involved with a person in the military, extreme transitions in lifestyle happen at a moment’s notice. A phone call or a knock at the door can mean the unthinkable for the partner of a soldier.

The University of North Carolina and the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences examined medical records of 250,000 women married to active-duty soldiers. The study found that women whose husbands were deployed from one to 11 months were more likely to suffer from depressive disorders, sleep disorders, anxiety and acute stress reaction and adjustment disorders.

This study demonstrates that the burden of deployment can severely affect partners as well as soldiers. Having the tools and the ability to manage the stress and emotions of deployment is crucial to overcoming psychological and physical obstacles.

Staci Chiomento, a military spouse for eight years, and a former soldier, recalls the moment when representatives of the U.S. Army knocked on her door to inform her that her husband had been killed in action in Iraq.

Read more...